Memoir Writing – practical advice
On the subject of writing
If someone asked me six years ago how to write a book and get it published, I’d have said what I had been told, “Find a quiet spot and just start. You learn to write by writing.”
Now, six years later, I might add a little to that advice.
I had written diaries, short stories, and poems all my life. I often wrote sitting up in bed at night. It was a private pleasure, and I had never thought of publishing my work.
The spur to writing a ‘proper book’ came when my dearest friend John Oliver, died in 2014. John, or Joliver as I knew him, was born in 1925 without hands and with one club foot. Surprisingly, with his normal foot and his short arms, he led a full, exciting and entirely independent life. After training at art school to become an artist and teacher, he learnt to sail, became a chef and worked as a tug captain on the River Medway. Watermen knew him as ‘Johnny No Hands’, not in a derogatory way, but to distinguish him from the other Johns working on the river.
I met him when I was 24. For me, it was love at first sight and our lives wove in and out together for the next 40 years. He agreed to me writing his biography on the condition that I was not to take notes and must not to publish anything while he was alive. He then began telling me stories about his early life and left me all his papers, photos and his houseboat which was in urgent need of repair.
After he died, it took me a year before I started researching and interviewing his many friends. The first draft of 18 chapters (about 54,000 words) took three years to write.
I joined a writers’ group called Faversham Inklings which was helpful. We meet every fortnight to read our work and receive feedback. One piece of advice I was given was, “Don’t wait until you are published, but start the publicity early.” So I gave interviews to the Medway Messenger which became double-page spreads, and began giving slide shows and talks about John Oliver’s life.
He was well known around the Medway and Swale rivers as a character and tug captain on Hobbit, and my talks were popular – I even had to turn people away on one occasion. The Creek Trust in Faversham kindly provided a venue for talks, as did LV21, a lightship and arts venue in Gravesend, and Rochester library.
From these talks, I began collecting email addresses and sent my supporters an e-newsletter every four or five months with updates and photos. At first, I was using Constant Contact for the newsletters but this cost £18 a month. Now I use Mailchimp which is free, and just as good. I am grateful for help from KAB (Kent Association for the Blind) who found me a volunteer to help with the newsletter layout.
In 2021, I will be giving talks during the Estuary Art Exhibition in Faversham, Chatham, Gravesend and Leigh-on-sea in Essex. If you’d like to subscribe to my e-Newsletter send your name and email address to email@example.com
To set up a simple website, I went on a free one-day course for local small businesses and have improved and expanded this over time. I have two Facebook pages: John Oliver-an Extraordinary Life and Frances Rowley Beaumont-Author. These are free, but I pay a small amount a month to boost my posts to a wider audience. All this publicity, including writing this blog, takes time away from writing the book but is part of the necessary process of marketing. My goal is to have 500 subscribers before I publish the book, and I’m well on the way to that now.
For some time, the lack of money was slowing me down. I needed to pay for website management and hosting (which was very expensive), computer repairs and upgrades, travel and someone to type the interviews I had recorded.
To raise funds, I promise a signed copy of the book in advance for a minimum donation of £20. Friends and family kindly donated, and members of the public signed up after my talks.
To get the first draft finished, I went away for three weeks to the isle of Iona to work undisturbed. On my return, in May 2018, I sent my book to Marnie Summerfield Smith for her opinion and waited anxiously to hear back from her.
I first met Marnie at an afternoon workshop on Memoir Writing as part of the Faversham Literary Festival. I was impressed with her experience, and her gentle but penetrating insights. I felt she was a safe pair of hands.
A few weeks later Marnie emailed me:
“So, what you have at the moment is more of a biography than a memoir. It is very much Joliver’s story, about him from an outside perspective. So that will be your biggest decision, to continue along those lines and tidy this into an excellent biography or write it as your memoir with Joliver as a central character – with the two of you sharing centre stage…
The deeply emotional parts were where you come into the story. I cried at the end. You have written about the time the two of you spent together so delicately. It’s just wonderful and the writing is of a very good quality especially in these parts…
I see why people have said to you that there’s not enough of you in it. I think it’s because you have told people you are writing a memoir about Joliver, so people are expecting it to be in your voice, with your thoughts and feelings…
The parts where you have written about you and Joliver are the most poignant and in terms of memoir writing, most satisfying in revealing the characters of you both and the love that you shared. You write well and on top of that, clearly, you have the potential and bravery to write something deeply personal. I would love to see more of that…
The potential for a remarkable, sweet uplifting memoir is there.”
I could see I had a choice to write a biography of John or completely change tack and rewrite a memoir of my life which included Joliver’s story. The challenge was daunting because I would be exposing things I had never written about before and my deepest feelings. I felt John was the main theme and feared that people would not be very interested in me, or my life.
My writing group had been saying the same thing to me for some time, and now I was hearing clearly from Marnie that my half of the story was equally important as Joliver’s.
I want to write the best book I can, so I started again. However, all the work on the first draft was not wasted. It was a necessary learning tool in the craft of writing.
The provisional title of the book changed from “Johnny No Hands” to “Johnny No Hands and Me” and I asked Marnie to become my editor. She suggested I begin the book with a chapter showing me in a challenging situation. I chose the one about John Oliver’s last few days of life, in the local hospital.
In Will Storr’s book, The Science of Storytelling he explains how the brain loves and needs stories and how you can feed into this natural process. I found this book very helpful and recommend it, whatever genre you are writing in because all writing is ultimately storytelling.
Virginia Wolfe said: “A woman writer needs money and a room of her own.” And I’ve found this to be true.
I have a tiny office in what used to be a coat cupboard, but lack of money has been a problem. I’m retired and was struggling to meet the extra costs of the book which included computer, website, and professional help, including editing. In 2020, I arranged Equity Release on my house which has given me cash in hand for the book and essential house repairs, so things are much easier now. I have employed a part-time assistant to type out interviews, do some research and manage my spreadsheet accounts, which I find difficult to see on the screen.
As an unknown author publishing my first book, I don’t expect to make money from it – I’d be happy to break even- but there is a possibility our love story could be turned into a film, which would be a very different scenario. I will know more when I send the book to publishers.
I would not have missed this experience of writing for anything. I have met so many interesting people, some of whom have become friends. I have learnt a surprising amount about John and myself. It’s been hard, but cathartic, to write honestly about times when things went spectacularly wrong in my life.
The writing group are in favour of this new voice I have found, and I get feed-back varying from, ‘It’s brilliant! Don’t change a word!’ to suggestions that a chapter is a bit too long. I take note of comments because the group represents a section of my future readers, but ultimately, I am the author.
I love working with Marnie as an editor. She understands the difficulty of memoir writing and is very encouraging. As an editor, she does not cross out paragraphs with a red pen as I had imagined she might, but asks questions and wants me to write more, and dig deeper!
If you asked me today,’ How can I write a book?’ I would encourage you to find a quiet place and start. Set money aside to support you and be prepared for a long roller-coaster ride to an unknown destination. You won’t regret it!
Frances Rowley Beaumont
Website for Johnny No Hands and Me: www.francesbeaumont.co.uk
Marnie’s retreat was relaxing and supportive, just the atmosphere you need for writing, even though memoir writing is so personal and often challenging. Hearing other writer’s journeys was fascinating, and I now understand how Marnie’s retreat was relaxing and supportive, just the atmosphere you need for writing, especially since memoir writing is so personal and often challenging. Hearing other writers’…
I had the pleasure of working with Marnie as she carried out a manuscript assessment for my memoir. Marnie was referred to me by Jericho Writers. She’s truly an expert in her field. Marnie’s written feedback to me was valuable, relevant, insightful and very encouraging. She clearly set out the areas that were working and identified the key elements that…
With my current health problems, I do feel content and happy that I have been able to write my life story for my loved ones. My grandchildren are very young, but in the years to come they will enjoy and appreciate reading my memoir Darlo Boy. Thank you so much for your assistance Marnie.
I felt as if Marnie was holding my hand throughout. She wanted to do the very best for me. Her caring and compassionate nature was evident from day one. Apart from being extremely intuitive, her wonderful writing skills seemed contagious and I found myself expressing myself like I had never done before! She gently prised open my life without me…
If you’ve already written your memoirs but need a bit of guidance as well as an experienced memoir checker, then you need look no further. I contacted Marnie about a memoir I had already written entitled ‘The Life and Times of a Seminary Kid’ which was a humorous look at five years of my life at a priest’s training college. Initially,…
My memoir is written from different points of view. Marnie recommended adding more of my own emotions, that I sew the story together using my voice and feelings as the thread. She is open-minded and encouraged me by understanding the atmosphere I am trying to convey about a sensitive topic that informs the lives of three generations of women –…
Working with Marnie was a dream come true! She as so helpful and encouraging with my memoir, we corresponded a year before we started working together and she gave me very helpful advice from the start. We worked together editing my memoir over seven months. Marnie is very patient, understanding and kind, traits that are so important when writing a…
I first met Marnie when she interviewed me at Harbour Books, Whitstable about my book Kill The Black One First – a memoir. I found her a very warm and helpful person. She was very well researched and her questions incisive and pertinent. She certainly helped make the event a success.
Throughout the whole editing process I felt both expertly held and simultaneously challenged to push my memoir to rewarding new heights. Marnie instinctively knows how to inspire with insightful suggestions whilst marshalling disparate strains of thought into cohesive order. My project was particularly exposing on a personal level and Marnie handled everything with extraordinary insight and sensitivity. I can’t imagine…
I was delighted when Marnie agreed to provide a workshop for the 2018 Kent Festival of Writing. Zuihitzu, the Japanese art of following the pen, proved a very attractive proposition for our delegates and we were oversubscribed. Neither Marnie or I wanted to turn anyone away, so it was a packed event!
Thank you for your help in making this happen, and for putting Neil’s words together so accurately. We were so pleased that the first draft arrived in time for us to read it as a family to Neil. I know he really enjoyed his couple of days with you. Thank you. Sarah Vines, brother of Neil, author of Powerful Beyond…
In the run-up weekend to our 2018 festival Marnie hosted a very well attended day of memoir-writing events, beginning with a moving, eloquent discussion in which she talked to author Sarah Pullen about her memoir A Mighty Boy. As an interviewer Marnie is a true professional, asking thought-provoking yet sensitive and heartfelt questions, and putting everyone at ease in that…
It was a pleasure working with Marnie on the Writer’s Weekend. She was approachable, professional and communicative in the lead-up to the event and during the weekend she was wonderful. All delegates commented on her kind manner, her knowledge, and her ability to bring out the best writing in them. I can highly recommend collaborating with Marnie, who would be…
A couple of weeks after the Memoir Writing Weekend, I am reflecting on what a difference it has made. For a long while I have had a desire to share my story, I did not have a clue how or where to start. All I knew is that there was at least one story there to be told. The workshops…
This was a brilliant weekend – way above my expectations. Marnie just knows about memoir and her presentations were superbly focussed and paced. It’s rare to find someone who combines a high level of professional knowledge with the relational skills that make it all work. If you are needing support with your writing, hire this woman! Edna Murdoch Director Coaching…
I have been lucky enough to work with Marnie on several occasions where she has interviewed, hosted and compèred events I have been managing. Marnie is a joy to watch at work. When the lights dim and she takes the microphone, I feel totally at ease knowing that everything will be safe in her hands. Marnie has a real gift….
Marnie interviewed me about my memoir Have You Been Good? for Whit Lit in 2015. Before we met at the festival, we had a long telephone conversation and I was struck at how quickly she understood my book. Her intelligence, warmth and sensitivity made the interview on the day feel more like a conversation with an old friend. A year…
Thank you for interviewing me for my event at the London Fashion and Textile Museum in November, 2018. You made me feel so relaxed and I appreciate your unerring and priceless support. You made the talk possible for me and I’m incredibly grateful. Liz Wilson, owner of Eclectica Vintage
Thank you Marnie for sharing your insightful and inspirational creativeness with me – well, and all of us. I loved the weekend and have come away full of excitement to write write write. Actually perhaps it’s more to organise organise organise! Oh well somehow I am determined to get my ‘stuff’ together. Thank you again. Penny Wadsworth
Absolutely loved every minute of this amazing memoir writing retreat, and the time spent with such lovely people, sharing their deeply touching life experiences. Special thanks to you Marnie for all your encouragement, support and know how. Marnie helped me with my first book and now I am going to write the sequel myself. Feeling truly inspired and motivated with…