Take Your Time
I blogged recently about taking (not making) time to write, by attaching the habit of writing to another habit you already have. Good ones and bad ones (!) are fine. You just need to link the habit you want to have to the one you already have. This I am learning from reading Atomic Habits by James Clear.
I’ve also written about your writing space, how it might be imperfect (like mine) but that’s okay. You can still write in it.
But now I want to talk about why it can be good, and by good, I mean resulting in a more authentic memoir and healing creative experience, if you take your time writing the thing.
Yes. Ideally, I want you to take your time.
That might seem counter-intuitive. You might think that my advice to get on with it means that I believe speed is of the essence. But what I mean is that memoir writing involves a level of reflection that few people undertake in their whole lives. Reflection takes time. So pause as you go along if you feel the need, and certainly (definitely) between drafts.
A couple of years ago I started working with a woman who had been through a lot of neglect and abuse, in her childhood and during her first major relationship. Hers was never a revenge memoir, which I advise against. But she felt justifiably angry with a lot of people and had been working through this with therapy. She wanted to write about her healing process. Healing is not always linear as you may know. Inner peace can be a slippery thing and can come and go, depending what life throws at us.
We’re on the fourth draft of her memoir now and last time we met, she wanted various things taken out of the book. Things she had written about other people and their behaviour that she no longer felt. She didn’t want to be petty or vindictive, she said. We chatted about how she felt so much different now from when we started writing together and how the writing and reflecting had been a huge part of that. How each draft had been another step forward in her understanding and evolution. How it had been therapeutic.
If she had rushed the writing and publication, she’d have been stuck forever with a version that did have its petty and vindictive moments. And that can be fine. But by having taken her time, she has been able to release some of her anger and has created something that is a true representation of who she is today.
One of my least favourite pieces of advice has to be, “Let it go!”
“Oh, I should let it go? I never thought of that! Because it’s that easy! “
So I’m not saying that writing memoir helps you let stuff go. But it can bring a sense of release. Physically it’s all out of your head and on paper, and mentally too, because you’ve gained new perspective.
So take your time.
Feel your feelings, write them down, read them, ponder.
Create the memoir you really want to write
And let your memoir re-create you.
Dear Marnie
Thank you so much, Marnie. You have been wonderful. Enjoyed the retreat – a whole new experience. I learned a lot. Thank you again.
Marnie knows her stuff. She is encouraging and insightful and used her knowledge of writing coupled with strong listening skills to guide me towards finishing my story. The retreat was intimate and provided me with lots of time to write and also time to spend with other writers. Thanks Marnie for a marvellous retreat.
Being on stage with Marnie at the Faversham Literary Festival was incredibly natural. The rapport between us was great. She managed to get best out of me and highlight the book in a very concise way, whilst being informative and funny yet respectful when discussing emotional aspects of the book. Marnie had obviously read the book and researched and planned…
Loved the online memoir writing course. As someone toying with whether memoir is the right way to go, Marnie gave insightful advice around structure, great examples of the ‘how’ along with on the spot exercises to flex the writing muscles straight into memory. I’d recommend the course for all levels, whether that’s a motivation boost to get you started or…
I thought that each lesson was a safe space to learn in. I like the fact that you can remain anonymous. With some online writing courses the other participants can see and hear you and you’re expected to share what you’ve written and interact live with people. Not everyone wants to do that. I loved the writing prompts and the…
I loved everything about the online memoir course. Marnie – you have a unique gift. You are compassionate, empathetic, intuitive and charismatic. It’s been lovely to learn from you.Even though I am still on the starting blocks you have helped me believe in myself.
I was a complete novice. The main thing I have taken away is your insistence to, “Just do it, just write and you can edit etc later. ”You gave me the productive mindset of doing rather than just thinking. I liked the format of the sessions, they suited me, and I am pleased to know I can revisit the sessions,…
Being part of the Cream Tea Memoir Crew was a pleasure and a joy. We spent the best part of a week huddled together, deep in the Devon countryside, surrounded by beautiful farmlands and rain! To have the freedom to write (or not) within this group was an experience I will never forget. Marnie has a gift for putting people…
I booked a retreat with Marnie about a year after first putting pen to paper. I had no idea what to expect but hoped to find direction, clarity and inspiration. I didn’t expect to find all of that and more. I came to her with pages of scatteredthoughts, questioning why I ever thought writing my Memoir was a good idea….
I feel very fortunate to have had the opportunity to work with Marnie at the memoir writing retreat in 2021. She’s so easy to talk to, non-judgemental, has a sharp sense of humour, and so much empathy; all qualities that make her perfect for coaching memoir writing. I will absolutely continue to work with Marnie as I progress with my…
There were so many good things about this retreat! I loved the total isolation from the world where all the ordinary things of daily life were put on hold. No work, cooking, washing, school pick-ups or involvement in the dramas of others lives. This “away time” was such a gift and gave me space to order my thoughts and see…
Those four days on the memoir writing retreat with Marnie were unforgettable, deeply enjoyable and like a ‘time out of time’. It was so valuable to meet and share with other memoirists in supportive and comfortable surroundings. Marnie ensured we all had personal time with her. If you are serious about writing your memoir, I recommend taking an enjoyable break…
I had the pleasure of working with Marnie as she carried out a manuscript assessment for my memoir. Marnie was referred to me by Jericho Writers. She’s truly an expert in her field. Marnie’s written feedback to me was valuable, relevant, insightful and very encouraging. She clearly set out the areas that were working and identified the key elements that…
With my current health problems, I do feel content and happy that I have been able to write my life story for my loved ones. My grandchildren are very young, but in the years to come they will enjoy and appreciate reading my memoir Darlo Boy. Thank you so much for your assistance Marnie.
I felt as if Marnie was holding my hand throughout. She wanted to do the very best for me. Her caring and compassionate nature was evident from day one. Apart from being extremely intuitive, her wonderful writing skills seemed contagious and I found myself expressing myself like I had never done before! She gently prised open my life without me…
If you’ve already written your memoirs but need a bit of guidance as well as an experienced memoir checker, then you need look no further. I contacted Marnie about a memoir I had already written entitled ‘The Life and Times of a Seminary Kid’ which was a humorous look at five years of my life at a priest’s training college. Initially,…
My books have arrived! I am so excited and delighted. You are the best ghostwriter. I felt totally comfortable confiding in you, and your kindness and understanding has helped me come to terms with things that have happened. I am sure you’ve helped a lot of people.
My memoir is written from different points of view. Marnie recommended adding more of my own emotions, that I sew the story together using my voice and feelings as the thread. She is open-minded and encouraged me by understanding the atmosphere I am trying to convey about a sensitive topic that informs the lives of three generations of women –…
Working with Marnie was a dream come true! She as so helpful and encouraging with my memoir, we corresponded a year before we started working together and she gave me very helpful advice from the start. We worked together editing my memoir over seven months. Marnie is very patient, understanding and kind, traits that are so important when writing a…
I found the entire process with Marnie as my ghostwriter to be cathartic in every way. Where I had felt nervous and anxious about putting pen to paper, I found myself feeling optimistic and often excited.
I wouldn’t have managed to do it (the launch or the book) without Marnie. If you know the story of Dumbo who thought he could not fly without holding the feather in his trunk, well I call Marnie my feather.
Marnie conducted my interview at the Whitstable Book Festival with skill and sensitivity. She was a good listener and took a genuine interest in her subject. We had a capacity audience for what was a very successful afternoon.
Once I had decided that I needed to write a memoir, the next question was: where on earth do I start? I am so grateful that it was Marnie’s website that caught my attention first, as from the very moment I spoke to Marnie, I knew I was in good hands.
I first met Marnie when she interviewed me at Harbour Books, Whitstable about my book Kill The Black One First – a memoir. I found her a very warm and helpful person. She was very well researched and her questions incisive and pertinent. She certainly helped make the event a success.
Throughout the whole editing process I felt both expertly held and simultaneously challenged to push my memoir to rewarding new heights. Marnie instinctively knows how to inspire with insightful suggestions whilst marshalling disparate strains of thought into cohesive order. My project was particularly exposing on a personal level and Marnie handled everything with extraordinary insight and sensitivity. I can’t imagine…
I was delighted when Marnie agreed to provide a workshop for the 2018 Kent Festival of Writing. Zuihitzu, the Japanese art of following the pen, proved a very attractive proposition for our delegates and we were oversubscribed. Neither Marnie or I wanted to turn anyone away, so it was a packed event!
Thank you for your help in making this happen, and for putting Neil’s words together so accurately. We were so pleased that the first draft arrived in time for us to read it as a family to Neil. I know he really enjoyed his couple of days with you. Thank you. Sarah Vines, brother of Neil, author of Powerful Beyond…
In the run-up weekend to our 2018 festival Marnie hosted a very well attended day of memoir-writing events, beginning with a moving, eloquent discussion in which she talked to author Sarah Pullen about her memoir A Mighty Boy. As an interviewer Marnie is a true professional, asking thought-provoking yet sensitive and heartfelt questions, and putting everyone at ease in that…
My darling, I have read the book from cover to cover out loud. It is a wonderful book. My excitement is so great darling, you’re a star. Let’s write another one! Lady Sandra Bates, seventh bunny at the original Playboy Club, London, and author of How To Be A Kept Woman
It was a pleasure working with Marnie on the Writer’s Weekend. She was approachable, professional and communicative in the lead-up to the event and during the weekend she was wonderful. All delegates commented on her kind manner, her knowledge, and her ability to bring out the best writing in them. I can highly recommend collaborating with Marnie, who would be…
While reading your feedback yesterday the hairs were literally standing on my arms because I knew you were the right person to make this manuscript the best it can be…
A couple of weeks after the Memoir Writing Weekend, I am reflecting on what a difference it has made. For a long while I have had a desire to share my story, I did not have a clue how or where to start. All I knew is that there was at least one story there to be told. The workshops…
All I knew was: I wanted to share my story, write my memoirs. I Googled ghostwriter and Marnie was the first person I contacted. Marnie made such a great first impression that I felt no need to look any further.
This was a brilliant weekend – way above my expectations. Marnie just knows about memoir and her presentations were superbly focussed and paced. It’s rare to find someone who combines a high level of professional knowledge with the relational skills that make it all work. If you are needing support with your writing, hire this woman! Edna Murdoch Director Coaching…
I found Marnie to be such an affable person. Not only that, but she gave me the confidence to finish my memoir.
I have been lucky enough to work with Marnie on several occasions where she has interviewed, hosted and compèred events I have been managing. Marnie is a joy to watch at work. When the lights dim and she takes the microphone, I feel totally at ease knowing that everything will be safe in her hands. Marnie has a real gift….
Marnie interviewed me about my memoir Have You Been Good? for Whit Lit in 2015. Before we met at the festival, we had a long telephone conversation and I was struck at how quickly she understood my book. Her intelligence, warmth and sensitivity made the interview on the day feel more like a conversation with an old friend. A year…
Thank you for interviewing me for my event at the London Fashion and Textile Museum in November, 2018. You made me feel so relaxed and I appreciate your unerring and priceless support. You made the talk possible for me and I’m incredibly grateful. Liz Wilson, owner of Eclectica Vintage
A very good service. As well as helping us write our memoirs about our adventures as wartime entertainers, Marnie arranged for us to be interviewed on BBC Radio 4, and organised a wonderful book launch for us at the Churchill Theatre, Bromley.
I attended the Red Door Memoir Writing Weekend because my daughter was one of the organisers and I wanted to support her and the Red Door publishing house. I was a little interested in memoir writing but now… I’m passionate about it.
Thank you Marnie for sharing your insightful and inspirational creativeness with me – well, and all of us. I loved the weekend and have come away full of excitement to write write write. Actually perhaps it’s more to organise organise organise! Oh well somehow I am determined to get my ‘stuff’ together. Thank you again. Penny Wadsworth
Absolutely loved every minute of this amazing memoir writing retreat, and the time spent with such lovely people, sharing their deeply touching life experiences. Special thanks to you Marnie for all your encouragement, support and know how. Marnie helped me with my first book and now I am going to write the sequel myself. Feeling truly inspired and motivated with…
I found the memoir retreat very inspiring. I was touched by Marnie’s professionalism as well as finesse in her comments. A truly enlightening weekend. Thank you so much for all the encouragement. Mona Radwan
Marnie is a truly special person with a wonderful gift. She is sincere and compassionate. I loved working with her. My book was rather complicated.
I’d just like to say a huge thank you for the dedication and passion you gave while ghostwriting with me.
Marnie ghosted our memoir of motorbiking around Europe for charity. The whole experience was very relaxed. Marnie was very friendly and accomodating yet professional.
